So, it’s valentine’s day and there are rows of cards in the supermarket, seemingly happy couples everywhere and an increasing sense of panic rising in people who don’t have a partner. I know plenty of people who don’t fuss at valentine’s day but I know plenty more who do. In fact, I know quite a few people who fear being alone at any time of year and I think that’s really sad. I see amazing girls and guys go for mediocre partners who don’t treat them right or who they actually don’t even like. I see people drag out relationships that aren’t making them happy because they fear being alone.
It all comes down to the feeling that anybody is better than being alone – it doesn’t matter that you’re unhappy because you still have someone to rely on and spend time with and who you can call yours. But, honestly, I would rather be alone than force something that just isn’t working and I think more people would realise that if they gave it a chance.
Just because I am not in a relationship does not mean I am alone – I have great friends and an amazing family and I genuinely enjoy spending some time on my own. I don’t want to force myself to go on an awkward date with some guy from tinder when I could be having a cocktail night with my friends or a movie night in my jammies.
I’m not saying for a minute that people should stay single forever or that my only dream in life is to spend every night for the rest of my life watching eastenders with my mum. It’s about respecting yourself enough to wait for someone who you like and who treats you well. It’s about realising that you are fine the way you are and you do not need someone to make you complete. It’s learning to love yourself first and foremost and if that means spending valentines night watching eastenders with your mum or watching funny cat videos online then do that!
One day you may well find yourself surrounded by a spouse and three kids. You might spend next year in a fancy restaurant with a Brad Pitt impersonator. You might not. But respect yourself and be kind to yourself – whatever your situation this valentine’s day!